Fresh starts

We have now been moved into our new home for a little more than a month now. Still working on getting fully settled. This weekend we are taking it easy and hanging things up on walls. Trying to get everything done as much as possible before I start school. Yes, I am going to school to become a medical assistant. The change is going to be a great start to a new career that will be stable in the end. I would love to say the printing industry is thriving but it's not. 10 years ago, it was the place to be. I would have never imagined everything going to web design and companies turning paper to digital. It's time. 

Also, I have now lost 35 pounds. I'm under 300 now!!! It's been tough. Now it's even harder to keep going due to life getting in the way. But the weather is getting cooler and I'm looking forward to walking outside more. And in the picture below I'm wearing a shirt I bought about 3 years ago, it's a Jones New York shirt that retailed at around $50, I got it on clearance for $5 when I worked at Belk. It was a REALLY tight fit then. Now, I fit into it!! Personal victory!! 

My halfway reward

15 pounds down and I feel good! I have now officially surpassed any weight lost, period. So many years of dieting and trying to lose weight, I've joined Weight Watchers before, and lost 10 pounds then gave up after I didn't lose any more. So 15 pounds may not sound like a lot, but it is to me. It means I can keep going at this steady pace if I keep up what I'm doing. It lets me know I can do more, and I can achieve my goal of 150 pounds. I'm starting to see the difference in the way I look in my arms, chest area and legs. The big moment is when I won't be able to fit in the pants I wear now, its coming soon.

I was also thinking about my big running goal for the next 5k... I'm beginning to come to the reality I won't be running the whole thing. And you know what? That is OK with me. By that time, I may be able to run most, but I won't be upset if I don't. Running isn't my thing and that's fine. I have a different view in my exercise. I love to dance. I find myself going towards the dance workouts and I like it. I have this frame of mind that I would love dance more. I used to dance when I was a kid around 10 or so, jazz, hip hop and I think I even had ballet when I was really younger. The movie Footloose? I'm drawn to the line dancing, I've done it once years ago, and I had a blast but I was not in shape enough to really get into it. I would love for my husband to do this...

I've always been afraid of him just picking me up without him breaking his back. Even though he claims I'm "light" and I love him for that. But I know how much I weigh. This move would be much easier if I was 50 to 75 pounds lighter. Which brings me to a reward. At 50 pounds, we're getting some cowboy boots, I have never been able to fit my chunky legs in one of these babies below (pretty huh?) Which is step number one in the reward, once we get the boots, we are using them with country dance classes, step number two. And step three is a cool concert or night out at Gilley's or Billy Bob's.

10 pound mark!

I have lost 10 pounds! I finally made it there... soo much more to go though. But this is a start.

Its been a tough couple of weeks. Ever since the 5k, I have been slow to get back into the exercise that I did when training for the race. After the race, I spent a couple of days recovering due to the major blisters on my feet. I could definitely tell that my stamina went down along with that. So as soon as I started feeling better, my foot started feeling like I sprained it, so my workouts again could not go full force like I wanted to. Ugh!! And I could feel it too, my body was craving the movements I was missing. I couldn't believe it! My body misses the movement! This week, my foot is getting better. I've got new running shoes (the ones I had actually had a blowout), I got Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred dvd, and my gym membership. I'm getting back to the workouts I need to be doing.

I still have that goal of running the next 5k in February. I will do it. If I can walk a 5k with only 2 weeks training, I so got this! Running is a big challenge for me. My knees aren't conditioned for running. I never loved running, ever. In high school I was totally one of the last ones to finish a lap when they told us to run. Of course, I was fitter then, I did the marching band and never realized how much exercise it was until now, looking back on all my old pictures, I thought I was big then.

I wonder what it would be like if I fit in that dress again, I still have that prom dress. I haven't been able to give it away and I really don't know why. I had that thing in a garage sale and couldn't sell the thing. That dress was I think a size 14 or 16. Maybe I should keep it as kind of a goal dress. Once I fit in it, me and my husband should go out, but where? Hmm... something to think about.

My new favorite snack/dessert is strawberries. Love them!

Changes

My life is now officially changed. 

Really.

This weekend, I was forced to stay home and not be as active as I have been. My "time of month" is weird, and I have sometimes really really heavy moments for days, and any strenuous activity is, well, not good. Sunday morning when it didn't get any better, I was literally crying that I couldn't go to the gym! I will say that is a step in the right direction. I did restart my workout today and that 45 minutes felt so good. I felt satisfied. And the number on the scale wasn't anything to be sad at either. I am now 318. So 7 total pounds lost. At this pace, it seems like I'm losing about a pound a week. Once I start running, it will probably start going down a little more. But we shall see!

Run or Dye 5k

Today, I did my first 5k.

Something last year, I never even had in my frame of mind. 1 month ago, I could barely walk half a mile without getting exhausted. So today, me finishing out 3.1 miles is a milestone I won't forget. When I got the invite a couple weeks ago from Tiffany to do this, I almost said no. But then I thought about my new motto in life. No excuses. So I said yes and signed up that day. I had 2 weeks to get prepared and I did a pretty good job, I survived!

This morning I was nervous, my stomach was in knots while trying to eat a banana for breakfast. But once I got there, the nerves went away and I was ready to start. I knew I wouldn't be jogging the whole way. I jogged the first minute, then I had to keep my own pace walking. I may have walked a slow pace, seen people pass, but when I saw that finish line before I knew it, I was soooo happy! It meant that I succeeded in something I never thought would happen. It meant that I can really do anything I put my mind to, and let doubt go out the window. The race was fun, I got dye ALL OVER ME, and I wore it as a badge of honor. Each color station was so much fun to go through.

Afterward,  I had blisters on my feet, and I walk like I'm 80 years old, but a small price to pay for such a rewarding experience. And for lunch, I had a much deserved burger from Red Robin. And it was good.

I gotta say I could not have done it alone, Tiffany and Amanda who did the race with me and my support system, my husband, my mom and my aunt Katherine came, and those who couldn't make it but I could feel the support thanks to good old facebook!

Getting over the hurdle

Its been 2 weeks since I started this journey and I haven't lost anything yet. I'm still trying to get into the groove of balancing out my food portions and working out and moving more. I get drinking less cokes, I just have to cut out the sugary juices that don't help. I get eating healthier foods, I just need to eat smaller portions. I get working out, I joined a gym to keep me motivated to use the membership! 

I am working on drinking more water. That would be the key to clean my system out. More water and more fruits and vegetables. I will say, that since I cut the cokes out, I do feel better. The sweets are a tough story, I do love ice cream. Its one of my weaknesses. I'm trying to treat myself with healthier sweets, but again, finding that happy balance of keeping the portions down. 

This is around the time I usually give up and start getting back to old ways. This time around, I'm gonna keep going. I'm not going to quit. I will succeed!

No more excuses

Call it a wake up call. Kick in the butt. A very strong warning. Last week, I found out I had high blood pressure. I haven't been to a doctor yet, but I already know the cause.

I am overweight, really. I'm 29 and 325 pounds. 3 2 5.. Just writing those numbers down, I am embarrassed. No wonder I can't find clothes that fit. This is it. I've said it before and I've tried before to lose the weight, this time around it need to happen. I'm afraid of what could happen to me if I keep living my life the way I am now, I'm afraid I would be diabetic. I would be surprised if I wasn't. But, with no insurance just yet, I'm gonna have to do this doctor free. I have already had too many of them tell me to lose the weight and all my ailments will go away. The blood pressure is just one of the reasons this weight needs to go. Me and my husband would love to start a family. I won't go too into that yet, but with my weight, doctors in the past have told me it would be a high risk pregnancy until I lost weight. Another reason is I would love to walk into ANY store with confidence and find my size no problems. I can't even  go into Ross or a thrift store and count on finding a big selection. So enough is enough. No more excuses. Last season of Biggest Loser, that was there motto, and it is now mine. No more excuses.

My goal is 175.
Starting weight is 325.

This is officially my before picture. You will never see me this way again.

This is the goal.  

4 cities, one woman

Yes, you heard me right. I feel like I'm stuck in waiting. I am living in Terrell, working in Dallas. My husband is working in Abilene and after about 7 or 8 months, he will most likely be in Austin. So, here lies my thing of figuring out what to do. I'm really waiting on him to confirm with his boss whether it will be rent free for me to live in Abilene for the duration of this project. If that is so, then GOODBYE work and I'm headed to Abilene. If not, then I will have to make the decision to go to Abilene or find a job in Austin and go down there first, but I have to get confirmation that he is definitely going to Austin, because for now, its a spoken promise, not set in stone.

Patience is a lesson I'm trying to learn now. I have been through a lot in the past couple of years, and this past couple of months have definitely been a struggle. We are just now getting back up on our feet, I don't want to ruin anything, jump the gun or do anything I will regret.

So I'm just here, waiting. Not able to do really anything but keep my job and set my sights and see whats out there in Abilene and Austin. Scared to apply for anything quite yet until I get confirmation.

Waiting. Patience. Stress Less.