So I have decided to make a change in my life. I have decided to go back on Weight Watchers. Reality check time. I am too. darn. big. I have surpassed my comfort zone with weight. I weighed in this morning at 315 lbs. Lets just say my self esteem is low. Really low. I have tried to figure out why I've been having bouts of unhappiness. There are times when I'm good, I have energy and the drive to do whatever comes my way. Then something happens and the mood plummets to the ground so deep I have trouble digging myself out. My poor husband. He has to deal with that. I feel absolutely useless sometimes when I am in those moods, to the point where going out and shopping at the grocery store and I get too tired. That is sad.

Well, I have had a light bulb moment. This morning, I woke up and started thinking about where to go from here. I turned on the tv in the bedroom and wouldn't you know it. A Weight Watchers commercial comes on. Could this be GOD telling me "Wake up, Laura!" I have been praying for an answer to my sadness, and praying for a solution.

I have been in the dumps a lot lately. And as of recently I had a reality check with work. The owner where I work is being a turd, putting it kindly. And I'm wondering if he has something against overweight people representing his company. The past couple of months I have probably gained about 20 pounds out of stress. Lets just say I am now currently looking for other work. I hope I find something soon.

Working isn't the only stress I have going against me. Due to my weight challenges, it has been a tough road when it comes to wanting to have a baby. I won't go into all the issues I have had in the past couple of years, because that is private. But I will say that all the odds of me having a child naturally have been highly against me. Adoption is an option, but I really want it to be the LAST option. I want to have a child of my own, it shouldn't be that much to ask for, should it?

There is also of course, money. I'm trying not to let money stress me out, but it does. I'm working on it with the help of my worry free husband.

I have to lose this weight. It is the only way to happiness. No more excuses. No turning back. I have to get serious.

Starting weight: 315
Goal: 175